First, let me preface this with I wrote this alone at the bar at Pizza Paradiso, waiting for the manfriend for dinner. About a year ago, this is something that would have absolutely terrified me – sitting alone at a bar that is – but now I (almost) don’t bat an eyelash at it. I want every sassy, empowered woman that reads this blog to be able to do and feel the same, so I wanted to share my tips for mastering the art of being alone with you all. (P.S. I’m sharing this look with you because I fully intended on wearing it on my day of freedom – which you’ll read more about below – but the weather was not cooperating with me.)
I definitely wouldn’t classify myself as an introvert, but the older I get, the more important alone time becomes to me. Alone time used to mean having the apartment to myself for a few hours while my roommate was out, but now it’s translated to spending time doing things I want to do, without having to adjust my plans for someone’s schedule or take into account that they don’t want to eat this or that.
This past weekend, the manfriend was out of town for a bachelor party and I had been looking forward to spending a day in the city by myself for literally TWO MONTHS. Between events, guests in town, and traveling, I’ve felt like a chicken with my head cut off running around so I intentionally kept Saturday blocked off even though I had no concrete plans. I ended up going to Shake Shack and eating lunch by myself, unfortunately going to work for a few hours, then sampling wine at Flight, and finally seeing Beauty and the Beast and it was amazing.
Since the idea of going out somewhere by yourself is scary, I’ve compiled a few tips to help you jump-start your own solo adventure. Who knows, you might love it as much as I do!
- Start small: going to the movies solo is the best way to adventure out on your own for the first time. The first time I saw a movie alone was because a friend stood me up 20 minutes before showtime and I had won free tickets so I was determined to go. I ended up giving my other ticket to a girl who was also solo behind me and cried through the whole movie because my feelings were so hurt. It turns out,the experience was a good wake-up call to realize that I needed to get comfortable with doing things alone. So, the movies are a good place to venture out solo because a) you get to eat all the popcorn b) it’s way easier to find a good seat for one and c) literally no one cares that you are alone while you’re in the dark
- Do your research: you probably don’t want to go to a raging bar by yourself so take the time to look up some low key spots. I’ve found that wine bars and even breweries are great spots to go solo because the bartenders are extremely knowledgeable about what they’re serving, and it’s a great icebreaker to ask what they recommend. Chances are, they’re so excited to talk to someone about something that they are passionate about that you’ll be able to have a fantastic conversation and learn a lot in the process too!
- Bring a prop: a book, a phone, gosh even your knitting needles if you’re into that! Bring something to do so that you don’t feel awkward. I personally prefer to bring a book over my phone because someone with their nose in a book is more approachable than someone rapidly shooting out texts. I had a lovely conversation about the book I was reading at flight with my bartender that never would have been sparked if I was furiously shooting texts to anyone who would answer
- HAVE CONFIDENCE – it might feel like everyone is staring at you, and they might be because you are a STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN and they are jealous, but in all reality, they’re probably just checking you out or not paying any attention at all. Own that you are by yourself and enjoy the fact that you can order anything off the menu without catering to your vegetarian friend (guilty, that’s me) and eat all the damn French fries you ordered without having to share
Enjoy being alone with your thoughts and if you wish, you can shop my look below. It allows for both all of the solo French fries and popcorn consuming 😉
Shoes | Forever 21 (similar)